Life Advice from 3rd Graders

I had the opportunity to substitute teach yesterday. At the same school I'll be teaching at in January. It seems like a great school. Anyway, I was in a 3rd grade classroom, which I had some experience with that age since that is where I student taught for half the time. Anyway, they seemed like great kids and we were having a great time, but they were getting really curious about my life. Who knows why, but they started asking questions. I read a few books aloud (per teacher's request...not because I was slacking) and had about 5 minutes left over before the next thing so I decided I'd let them ask questions...in hopes that they would stop while I was actually teaching. They asked me all sorts of questions from "What's your favorite color?" to "Are you married or do you have a boyfriend?" It was fine...harmless questions and not too much commentary about each one.

We then did rotations with another class, so my class went to a different teacher and I had a different class in the room I was in. Then THEY started asking me questions while they were working on their art projects. One little boy was just crazy the whole time...I could definitely tell he had attention problems. They asked me if I was married and if I had a boyfriend and how old I was. I told them, "No. No. 24." The little attention boy (let's call him "Billy") looks up from what he's doing and he says, "That's a really scary age to not be married." It was just perfect. Some girls told him he was being rude, some agreed with him, I just thought it was hysterical. He said it so matter-of-fact. We were making Incan masks out of paper plates and one little boy wrote "Pucer up!" coming out of the mouth of his mask. (Yes, that is how he spelled it...I actually know the correct spelling.. ;) Some boys asked me what it meant, so I told them. "Billy" came up to me with "Puker up!" on his mask because he thought the other kid's was just great.  I was helping him do something with his mask and he looks at me and says,"I know how you can get a boyfriend." "How?" "Walk up to a random boy and say, 'Pucker up!' and then kiss him." "Oh you think that will get me a boyfriend, huh?" "Umm...no. He'll probably just think you're a weirdie." Later, I said, "Billy! You are just off the walls today!" (I was totally joking...a little girl had come up to me earlier and said, "You can send him to another classroom if he gets too out of control." But I could definitely handle him...I've dealt with worse!) And then he looked at me and said, "That's because I have ADHD!" Hahaha, it was so funny! Like I didn't already catch on to that! ;)

Anyway, my class came back in and we started to work on 12 Days of Christmas books. I don't even remember how it came up, but the focus came back to my love life. One little girl said to me,"I'm going to ask Santa for a boyfriend for you." Then a little boy said, "You can marry my dad's friend. He doesn't have a life." (He might have said "wife," but I heard "life" and I think it's funnier that way!) Then a little boy was walking back toward his seat and it was one of those moments where you don't hear what they say, but you do...and he said something to the affect of, "I'll marry you." I said, "What?" And he turned back around with a bright red face and said,"Nothing!" It was so funny. They said a lot of other things about my love life and giving me advice, but I can't remember them all. I seriously wish I had a tape recorder because it was hilarious. These kids were hysterical. I really hope I get to sub for them again.

However, today I'm back to being home alone and bored. Ugh. Life isn't so interesting when you don't have school or work or a boy to distract you and keep you busy! :)